lately

Tucker died May 28th 2010. His birthday is June 12th. He did what he felt he had to do to protect his family. I miss him so much. I was reading in my journal about the time that he came over to my house in Cedar City and he asked me if we could make out. LoL. That was my Tuck. Always wanting to be close :) He of course was very smooth in his move and snuggled with me first and kissed me lightly on the cheeks and forehead. We were "watching" She's The Man. Hahaha. I will cherish that movie forever now. During his funeral his Mom and Sister were talking about how he was so full of love, hugs and kisses. It was so true. I remember one time during high school when we were boyfriend/girlfriend he told me he had a great idea. He wanted me to get my friends that had boyfriends and to invite them over to watch a scary movie. Of course, I said yes, and planned the movie event. We had our couples piled in my apartment living room and we were watching The Excorcism of Emily Rose. (totally scary enough) Tuck claimed the couch for us. He made sure I was snuggled in close enough to hold me during the scary parts. I would catch him looking at me during the movie...and making sure I was really okay. He would softly and gently kiss my temples, letting me know he was still there to protect me. I wish I could've protected him more. One night a year or so after we had dated, he invited me over to his house to hang out. It was winter, and he lived right off a semi-major street. So he had BIG snow piles in front of his house. When I went to leave that night I couldn't get my car out of the snow. Of course Tuck was watching me from his porch to 1) make sure I got out okay and 2) probably laughed at me for a few minutes before actually coming back to help me. Tuck saved the night by telling me that "A man needs to take care of this" and proceeded to lead me out of the car so that he could get my car out of the rut. His funeral was full of laughs and memories brought on by the stories that were told about him and his character as well as the people who came to pay their respects. I have a picture of Tuck and I in my car. I know that whenever I am talking to myself, he'll now be there to listen to me and help me figure out things. We've actually already shared a few laughs and memories from our first date...when he asked me to the Homecoming dance my senior year. I was in Homecoming Court and he was so proud of me. He wanted everyone to know that he and I were together that night and that we had become boyfriend/girlfriend (his words not mine :) ) We had barely talked on our day-date because we were both so nervous! But by the time he came to pick me up for the dinner/dance portion, we were just fine. He held my hand the moment we headed in for pictures with our group. I felt SO special. Someone had cared for me and actually wanted to hold my hand. In public. I hate to say it, but I felt like one of those power couples walking into that school full of people getting their pictures taken. Everyone said hi to us. Girls were coming up to me asking about Tuck and telling me how handsome he looked. I'm pretty sure the guys were doing the same with him, but with how pretty I looked ;). At that dance, we probably talked more than danced. . . but even when we danced he would sing in my ear and tell me how beautiful I looked. He made me feel so special in just one night. I miss you Tuck.